the 2.22.10 3:00pm entry
read this one day and felt myslef pull peices of me from myself mandingo the day the words fell from my mouth and everyone saw me speak from the inside red post racial ... my ass my brother milk the touch of 2 the touch of 2:the touch of 2 souls the touch of 2: the 2 with one the touch of 2: the physical cows and ... they said its called realness i used to hate myself.. now i'm just confused i sat and watched them all marvel at the movie screen and thought... obama i cut myself until i shed blood for days so you can call me beautiful and now i feel more empty then before. at least before i knew who i was my drippings consumed self hate runs more ramped then people think recess was the funnest time of the day i love sex and hate it because it consumes me. like a drug i feel it pump through my veins like venom. i hate myself after sex with a strangers sometimes but feel the high from it all and blind my eyes to its evils please let me not lose myslef note: The cattle is a metaphor mother freak it lasted for 3 hours sometimes i wish i had no consciousness of my physical. to rip this flesh off and start new it lasted for 4 hours when everyone's a sterotype, no one is..right? 11.04.09 sticky his feet open the day i fell from earth and gave my heart away i remember 07.14.07 too 3:24pm never i put on masks to highlight the ridiculousness i see in the everyday sometimes im scared of me black monkey/black car people ask me -- why so dark? i love and i hate them but all in all isn't that how things work. Cattle.. all of em .. just cattle but i know Clowns exist amongst them .. that's why i cry when i watch chaos. I hear out there. i love you. hold tight they say the meek shall inherit the earth the darkest corner of myself tell me its ok the laws of our fathers/ the cheers of our mothers fuck the past and indulge the words that burned me // set me free // but threw me into my cage inside myself







ALL RIGHT RESERVED. COPYRIGHT 2012 CHRISTOPHER UDEMEZUE